a series of unfortunate events

I almost never use my big double stroller because it is heavy and a pain on many levels but lately I have wanted it because carrying Eitan around for 2 hour walks is starting to affect my back.

(Long sentence)

It took me over 30 minutes yesterday to get out of the house and set up in the big stroller.  Then I'm like, why is it so hard to push this thing?  And I go about half a block before I realize that one of the tires is destroyed.  I mean it just is completely pulled apart somehow.

Then I had to go back to the house, unload, and get together the single snap-n-go and put Eitan on my chest in the moby and go back out.  I was meeting someone and also I wanted them to nap on the walk because I thought they were having a bad day due to lack of napping.

Ugh but that wasn't the right kind of walk.  And I was tired.  And instead of going home, I went to a friend's house, which (though fun) was even more tiring.  I should have gone home.

And Eitan's cough was getting more significant.

Last night nobody slept well.  Eitan was up off and on all night because of his nose.  Noa was tossing and turning.  And because Eitan was up, Ilan and I were both up (Ilan was trying not to wake me but I wake up anyway sometimes... and then I thought that 4am was a good time to do some online shopping for a replacement tire for the stroller).

And this morning I made a doctor's appointment for him because this cough has been lingering for weeks now and it is getting worse.  And I thought I heard wheezing.  It was worth checking out anyway.

Then I tried to go on another walk for napping (harder to do lately with the snap-n-go and the carrier combo) but the babies were so unhappy and I ended up going home early and trying to get them to nap in their cribs (unsuccessful).  Wished I had my big stroller.

Then I packed them up and went to the doctor's.  They napped during the HOUR long wait.  I don't really understand when pediatricians have such long waits.  I do have to say they scheduled me in at the last minute and accommodated a last minute change due to the babies' nap / temperament schedule for the afternoon.  But still.  Waiting an hour.

I thought the appointment would be in and out.

Nope.

An hour long.

Because ... dun dun dun DUNNNN... Eitan has bronchiolitis.  And he screamed for the whole nebulizer treatment, which was at least 10 minutes but felt like an eternity.  And then there was the saga with getting our own nebulizer, though thankfully Ilan took care of that.

By the end of today I couldn't read the instructions to the nebulizer.  It's not that complicated but I was afraid of messing it up, and I couldn't focus on the words.  And my chest is so tight and my shoulders are basically touching my earlobes and both babies are crying and Eitan needs his nebulizer treatment before he goes to bed AND AND AND.

Ilan held Noa so she would be calm, and I held Eitan in the glider while I gave him the nebulizer treatment.  And we sang the extra-long version of "the green grass grows" song for most of the treatment, keeping everyone calm.  And then Noa went to bed, and Eitan fell asleep during the treatment, and then I put him to sleep in his rocking chair /recliner thingie in the nursery to keep him at an angle so his sinuses will drain. And they've both woken up a couple of times already but hopefully will settle down for the night.

Marathon days.  I don't understand how I can't lose weight when I am running around like this and I don't generally soothe myself with junk food.  But whatever.

Sometime very soon I am going to bed and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, filled with nebulizer smoke and crying babies and extra bottles (for the hydration) and hopefully, hopefully a little music.

Daylight Savings

Well, we weathered this Daylight Savings pretty well, it turns out.  Actually, I shouldn't say that, because I don't know what tonight and tomorrow morning will be like.  But basically, Eitan, with his little internal clock (that adjusted itself for the time change apparently), woke up at exactly the same time that he always does.  As in, he woke up at 6am.  He woke up at 6am Saturday morning and he woke up at 6am Sunday morning, even though the clocks changed.

So today was normal, and they went to bed at 7pm.

I don't know how he does it but there it is.

Choosing to laugh

Today was a warm day, and when it’s warm I have to open the windows in the apartment because it gets really hot (the heat doesn’t turn off just because it’s warm outside).

Someone was jackhammering across the street, so it sounded like someone was jackhammering in our apartment.

I did manage to get the babies down for their first nap, I think that was before the jackhammer started.

Their second nap is the one where I go for a walk and sit somewhere nice and read blogs and stuff.

And since today was warm I thought I should either go to the library (a longer walk away) or go somewhere with easy access outdoor seating.  In the end I decided I would go down the street to a little place that has a bench outside, and I would buy a limonana and sit for an hour enjoying the sun and warmth.  Except when I got there, the bench was gone, I guess for the winter.  So I went to the coffee shop right by it, which was so packed with people I couldn’t fit in with the stroller.  So then I went to another coffee shop – one that was much closer to me – that had an outdoor bench.

I had now been walking for 20 minutes to find a place to sit outside, but if I had gone straight to that coffee shop I could have been there in 5 minutes.  Whatever.  I was there, and I had 20ish minutes left before the babies would start stirring and I would need to go home for their next feeding.

After standing there for about 10 minutes, someone came by and tied up their dog right next to me in order to go inside and get a coffee.  I was like, oh my Gd, please let this be one of those quietly patient dogs.  NOT SO.  The dog started barking, the babies started stirring, too early.

I walked away from the barking dog but had nowhere to go.  I spied another place with a bench outdoors but as I approached it I saw the bench was behind a little gate, and the gate was locked.

I just decided to stand on the sidewalk for 10 minutes.  I read blogs, checked facebook, etc, on my phone while I literally stood outside on the sidewalk.

Then I went home.  To the apartment that sounded like it had a jackhammer inside.

It was all so ridiculous.  The effort I put into that nap.  And the babies slept better inside with the jackhammer than they did during what turned into an hour long walk (I took the snap-n-go which is so bumpy and uncomfortable, I just use it for short walks because the jostling keeps Noa awake).

I started getting irritated but then stopped and decided I was choosing to laugh.  The babies slept for another 30 minutes after I got into the apartment.  I made the bottles for the rest of the day, had a snack, picked up the laundry from the drier, talked to the neighbors, checked my email on my phone, and then ended up waking them up for the feeding so we could stay on schedule.  It turned out all right.

It felt good to choose to laugh instead of getting irritated.  I think it changed the tone of the afternoon.  I hope the evening is as good as the day has been.  They are in the middle of a nap right now that has lasted an hour and a half.  This nap is going so long and I am not “forcing” it by taking them out on a walk.  Noa woke up after an hour and put herself back to sleep.  Eitan woke after half an hour and easily went back to sleep in the swing.  Right now I do have a sense of being on borrowed time.  But I am looking forward to this evening’s dance party.

A Good Day

Today was a good day but wow it was exhausting.

4:30am

Hear Eitan make a crazy noise, like totally scared and upset.  Ilan went in and his eyes were closed, we think he had a nightmare

5:30am

Wake up!  Everyone’s eyes are open, Noa is fussing, Eitan is cooing at his mobile.  I began diapering and waking up babies while Ilan prepared the formula for the day and then went to go shower.

6am

Begin feeding.  Started with nursing for 5 minutes, then bottles.

6:30am

Feeding finished.  I put the babies in the activity gym on the floor so I could clean up from the feeding and fold / put away the clean baby clothes while I have access to their room.  Ilan got dressed and then took over so I could shower.

7:15am

Came out to see this…

It’s kind of a surreal image.

7:30am

Ilan left for work, I put the babies down for their first “nap.”  Then I had breakfast, did some tidying up, and began prepping the bottles for the first morning feeding.  I knew they would wake up by 8 so I even started warming them.

8am

Awake!  Ready for breakfast!  Good morning!!!!  Eitan can be found cooing at the mobile again.  I picked out their clothes for the day.  Because Noa wasn’t fussing, I chose Eitan for dressing and diaper change first – Noa HATES it if you take her out of the crib and then PUT HER BACK IN IT.  If she isn’t fussing, she seems to prefer to be left there longer than to be taken out and put back in.  So, okay.  Diaper changes and outfits all around.

8:15am

Babies are locked and loaded in their chairs and I began the first double bottle feeding of the day.  Eitan sucked down his 5oz no problem but Noa rolled the bottle around her mouth and only ate 3oz.  This has been happening lately, and then she has been wanting another ounce or two later.  I just can’t have these partial feedings.  The formula goes bad after an hour, and I don’t want to heat up another bottle, while also managing a second baby.  So… Noa… sorry, but you have to eat at the feeding!  We can’t have this snacking business!

9am

I decided the feeding was over after waiting on Noa for a while.  Playtime began!  We did all sorts of things.
Hanging out on the boppies:

(There was screaming, not pictured)
Then spent some time working on projects in the bumbos

 
Eitan is starting to really be able to hold up his head, which is great.  Noa has discovered how much fun it is to push things off of the play tray.  Yay.

9:30am

Getting grouchy, time to go out for a walk and make them nap.  I took the snap-n-go instead of the real stroller because generally it has been fine to just go to a coffee shop and hang out for a while to get them to nap.  Lots of screaming as we load up and go, but then the babies quickly fall asleep.

9:45am
At the coffee shop, conversations about twins, blah blah.  Sit there with my iced tea and begin reading blogs, as per my new routine.  I planned on being there until 11:30.  Except…

10:30am

Noa’s eyes pop open.  Wide.  CRAP.  The only way to get her to go back to sleep would be to go for a walk, but the snap-n-go has terrible suspension and the sidewalks are just awful, so the jostling of the car seat just negates any benefit of walking for her nap.  I decided to go home and have an early feeding instead.

10:45am

Arrived at home, Noa’s eyes still open, now I end up waking up Eitan.

11:00am

I go and make my quick lunch (leftover chili in a wrap with melted cheese – aka Chili Cheese Wrap) and eat it while staring at crying babies.  Their bottles were warming while I ate, so as soon as I was done I put the bottles in their mouths and they quieted down.

12:30pm

Loaded grouchy babies into the stroller for our second walk, hoping this second walk will produce better nap results.  This time, instead of the snap-n-go, I put them in the stroller, which now has the regular seats in it instead of the car seats.  This meant I carried both babies down the stairs by myself with no car seats.  It’s actually easier to do than to carry the car seats, now that they hold up their own heads.  We walked for about an hour and a half, and even came across horses in the park!

The babies were asleep, though, so they couldn’t appreciate it.

2:15pm

Arrived back home, Eitan has woken up but Noa managed to stay asleep, even through me taking her out of the stroller and carrying her upstairs.  Some quality Eitan time.

He was then naked for 25 minutes (he loves being naked, so if he is fussy I will just take off his diaper for a little bit and he will cheer up!)

2:55pm

Woke up Noa for the next feeding, got the bottles ready.

3:00pm

Double bottle feeding, hooray!  This time Noa eats 5oz in ten minutes – it was so fast I didn’t even notice she had eaten so much without a burp.  Then she had a huuuuuuuge burp.  It was amazing.

3:30pm

More time in the activity gym while I cleaned up and ate a snack.

4:00pm

Dance party!!!!!!  Songs: Stayin’ Alive, Dancing Queen, You Should be Dancing (later this evening I made a better dance mix for our parties because these are the only three songs I had on my playlist for the almost-nightly dance parties and I would like some variety haha)

4:15pm

Dance party is over, and I notice some yawns, so I begin a nap routine.

4:30pm

Not napping.  I got a text from Ilan saying there was going to be an emergency meeting at work and he didn’t know when he would be home but he would leave as soon as he could.

4:45pm

Still not napping.  I begin planning out how to do bedtime by myself.

5:00pm

Both babies suddenly hysterically screaming.  At this point it’s getting too late for a nap.  I couldn’t figure out why they’re screaming.  I decided to try a bottle even though they had just eaten two hours ago.  They seemed hungry and I thought that if I forget that they ate 2 hours ago, I would not be second guessing giving them a bottle.  So I tried a little 2oz snack.  DEVOURED.  And fell asleep in their chairs.

5:10pm

I started prepping the bath stuff while Eitan started waking up and fussing a little.  I also pre-filled the bottles and put the bottle-warmer mugs in the microwave so when it was time for their last meal I could just warm them up and go.  I also gave myself a pre-reward of a big hunk of chocolate, knowing that it was about to get rough.

5:15pm

I started bathing Eitan, then Noa woke up and got hysterical at being left alone.  However, I couldn’t abandon Eitan in the tub, so I just had to let her be angry for a few minutes until he was out and dry (but naked! you know, so he would be happy).

5:30pm

Knocked on our neighbors’ doors for help with the babies since they were now both screaming.  Nobody was home because most people are not home from work at 5:30pm.  It just feels late for me because I had by that time been up and on the go for 12 hours straight.  I could hear the babies screaming in the hallway.  Awesome.

5:40pm

With a combination of Eitan in the rocking chair on vibrate while holding a toy and facing me in the bathroom and Noa in the bath, both babies were now temporarily happy.  Both of them love the bath, so it turned out to be okay.

6:00pm

Bath time over, I now had to get the bottles ready for their final meal.  They were SCREAMING.  OH MAH GAH WE DIDN’T JUST HAVE A SNACK 45 MINUTES AGO, AND DIDN’T JUST EAT 3 HOURS AGO. YOU NEVER FEED US. WE ARE DYING.  I was singing at the top of my lungs “A Whole New World” from Aladdin and “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid while bouncing both babies on my knees to keep them calm while the bottles warmed.  It was ridiculous.  I kind of hope the neighbors heard, but I’m sure they still weren’t home.

6:10pm

Silence, because the bottles were plugging up the scream holes mouths.

6:30

Babies were starting to fall asleep.  Ilan walked in the door.  Noa now wanted to stare at Ilan.  I hand her to him to finish the feeding because we all know how much she loves him.  Then I picked up Eitan for the rest of his feeding and some pre-bed snuggles.

7:00

Noa has fallen asleep.  Ilan swaddled her and put her in the rocking chair for the bedtime routine.  I handed Eitan to him for some snuggles and a swaddling.  He was then placed in the rocking chair for the bedtime routine.

7:15pm

Bedtime routine.

7:20pm

Babies in bed, Ilan began heating dinner.

7:45pm

Dinner & TV.

9pm

I shared with him some videos from the day, like Eitan giggling and talking while being naked.

9:45pm

I began futsing on the computer, reading blogs, facebook, writing this post, etc.

10:45pm (now)

I hope to be in bed soon.

The end.

Girls Day Out

It was really only a few hours, but I went out with Noa on Friday.    The boys were planning on going to go on a walk and get coffee, but Eitan spit up all over Ilan and then refused to go in the carrier and then screamed and was generally not doing well so they didn’t go anywhere.

Anyway, it was just us girls!

I have to say, going out with just one baby felt extremely liberating.  I basically felt like I was going out by myself.  No stroller, no crazy heavy bags, no juggling babies.  Just one baby!  Imagine that!

We went on the subway, and at first Noa was like WTF

Mostly because of the noise while we were on the platform.

I tried to get a picture of us both on the subway but it is hard to do that without making other people think you are taking pictures of them, which is awkward.

This was Noa’s first trip into the city since she was born, and her first time ever on the subway.  She was pretty cool about it.  Once we got into the city, with the loud noises and people everywhere, she was all right but maybe a little overstimulated.  We walked the two blocks to the doctor’s office, where she definitely felt more comfortable.  She was smiling at the receptionist and at the doctor.

The biggest problem came when I had to have my blood drawn, she started getting really upset for some reason (maybe she was empathizing because she just had her 4 month shots on Monday).

I ended up having to have an ultrasound of my thyroid so I had to take her out of the carrier and lie her on my belly while I was lying back on the table for my doctor to do the ultrasound on my neck.  Exciting times.  Noa was really good about it.

On the way back we decided to check out a nearby farmer’s market, but it started to rain so we quickly got back on the train.  On the way back home we stopped off at a few stores to pick up some organizing bins so I could reorganize the baby room.

By the time we got home, Noa had fallen asleep in the carrier.

If you knew Noa in real life, you would understand why I had to try to get a picture of this…  She doesn’t much like being in the carrier to begin with, and she definitely doesn’t want to fall asleep when there is so much to see.  But she was so tired; it was a loooong afternoon.

Then when we got home, I guess she decided she was a big girl now and should hold her own bottle!

She’s been trying to do this for a while now and she has been more and more successful.  She wasn’t quite holding it in her mouth in this shot, but she had been holding it in the right place and feeding herself for a few seconds right before I grabbed the phone to take a picture.

Meanwhile, Eitan, who hadn’t slept the whole time I was gone because he only wants to sleep ON MY BODY, finally slept.

(Here I am, with Eitan sleeping on me I had to feed Noa in her chair at the same time so I had to sit on the floor.)

A good afternoon. :)

LONG long long long day.

It started with trying to switch formulas because Eitan has been having bad reflux, which resulted in non-stop crying. I was asleep because it was my shift to sleep overnight, but the nonstop crying woke me up, so I went out to help. I ended up sitting with Eitan lying on my chest for the rest of the early morning hours (4-8am), with him periodically waking up to cry and writhe in pain, and then fall back to sleep. You can imagine how much sleep I got (not much).

Then today I decided we should go shopping because it’s the only day I have to go shopping for many many weeks, and I want to try on some clothes. By the way, this was a terrible idea. But I wanted to get out. So we loaded up and left. It was exhausting. The babies didn’t have a good night so how could I imagine they would have a good day after a bad night? And Ilan was exhausted and didn’t want to be out long. And I was starting to melt down internally at how my body looks foreign to me, and terrible in everything, and why bother buying clothes.

Then we got home and it was a feeding frenzy on Daylight Savings Time, which means 4-10pm, which I guess in some ways is better than 5-11pm. And both of them were screaming, and Noa was refusing the boob, and I was losing patience. She ended up with a bottle, Eitan nursed, and I gave them baths, and now they are asleep.

THANK GD.

We had a little cake, folded laundry, and now I’m going to bed. They’ll probably be up in an hour. Sigh. Daylight savings SUCKS, by the way! Babies and cats do not understand time changes!

And so this isn’t a total ranty post, here is Eitan in a cute sweater made of scratchy yarn that he hated and we ended up taking it off somewhere along the way (putting on a back-up sweater). I mean he is just adorable in it. But we can never use it again, sadly. It really is very scratchy, I don’t blame him for being uncomfortable. (I bought a couple of fleece outerwear things while we were out that are super soft and hopefully will not bother him)

And here is Noa also bundled up ready for the trip.  She kind of looks like Ilan's niece here... SO CUTE!

I also got her a matching fleece outwear thing because, omg, BEAR EARS!  Can't wait to take pictures of them wearing their bear ear fleeces!

Oot and Aboot

Today the babies and I were out ALL DAY, ALL BY OURSELVES.  It was fantastic.

Ilan brought the stroller up from the basement and left it folded in the lobby by the mailboxes so I wouldn’t have to carry it up the stairs, which is our new plan for when I want to go out.  It requires a little more planning, no spontaneous long day trips, but that is life with two babies. 

Anyway, I managed to get out of the house all by myself!  We live in a 3rd floor walk-up so just getting out of the door with two babies in car seats plus all the gear is kind of a logistical puzzle.
I can’t tell you the sense of accomplishment I had when I unlocked the stroller brakes and we were on our way.  I felt like I could GO ANYWHERE!
 
The thing that got me out of the house this morning was the October Babies Club meeting in a tea shop nearby.  When I signed up for the neighborhood parents’ club I was automatically put into the October Babies Club because of the babies’ original due date.  Even though they were born in September I opted to stay in the October club because their milestones will probably be similar to the October babies’.  So the club decided to meet this morning and I wanted to go meet other new moms.

(Side note: there are so many twins in our neighborhood that the October Babies Club actually has a subgroup for October Twins, although most of the October twins were born in September.)

I was the only twin mom there and I definitely impressed the other moms, just being there.  Ha!  After I got there I spent a lot of time describing the logistics of my day.  Both babies were asleep at first, which they do to show off to others, but it wasn’t long before both of them were crying and I was doing my little dance of nursing one while standing up and soothing the other.  I’ve never done this in public before but it turns out it’s basically the same as doing it at home.  Except I got some looks from the other moms who couldn’t believe I was nursing one baby with one hand while standing, and using the other hand to soothe the other baby.  Good times.

It was great to sit around with a bunch of new moms.  We got to have new mom conversation, like, have you clipped your babies’ nails yet, and how much sleep are you getting, and how gross is it when they keep pooping while you are in the middle of changing their diaper.  Everyone was super nice and friendly, and the venue was surprisingly large considering the city we’re in and could fit 10 women with their strollers and babies.  Also this funky tea shop happens to have a bathroom large enough for a stroller and also has a changing room in it.  It shouldn’t be surprising because this neighborhood is full of babies, but it is still funny (and the changing table is covered in graffiti like the rest of the bathroom!).

I ended up doing almost a full feeding at the tea lounge.  Almost everyone had to breastfeed their baby right there in the cafe.  Awesome.  And since I had fed the babies I knew I had a few more hours before I had to be home.  So I called a friend who I was going to make plans with anyway, and ended up hanging out at her house with her and her baby for a while (doing another full feeding there, too).

In the end I was out of the house from 10:30am – 5:30pm.  That’s SEVEN HOURS out and about with my babies, taking long walks and being social.  It felt amazing.  Last night I got about 4 hours of sleep, so you can imagine I am tired right now, especially since I didn’t get a nap this afternoon, but I am so excited I had to write it down so I wouldn’t forget this momentous day.

ALSO.

ANOTHER AMAZING THING HAPPENED TODAY.

My wedding rings fit again. :D

Sweet moment at the end of a trying day

I wrote this last night but forgot to publish it until today... 


Today was my actual first day alone and it started off so well.  Both babies were sleeping at the same time when I got up (Ilan did the last morning feeding before going to work) and I thought, wow, I think I am on track for another great day!

So what do I do?  Go ahead and MESS IT UP by putting both babies on my chest.

Oh, sure, this seemed like a great idea at the time.  How cute!  I am alone with both of my babies!  I can have them sleep on my chest at the same time!

It was wonderful for a whole hour.  Then I got hungry and had to pee.  It was then that I realized the folly of my ways:

I would have to wake up both babies at the same time in order to do those things, and I had no backup.

Crap.

Well, that is what I did.  And then the rest of the day I was paying for it.  Immediately after I woke them up they were both, apparently, STARVING, and screaming about it.  So I fed them.  And then they were uncomfortable with gas.  So I burped them.  And then they didn’t like their placement, and wanted to be rocked or swing or vibrated.  So I did those things.  I dared at some point to go to the bathroom, and while I was in there Eitan started screaming bloody murder, so hard that his face turned purple and he stopped breathing.  HOW DARE YOU ABANDON ME!

This was the rest of my day.  There were some cute times.  They each got to go in the activity gym and work out.  They each did sleep, though of course not at the same time – except for a tiny stretch in the afternoon, and I was like SWEET! I am going to take a nap!  And then as soon as I lay down, they started fussing. OF COURSE.

Then the feeding frenzy that is double cluster feedings happened, starting at around 5pm each baby was eating every 45min – hour until 9pm.  I’ve been doing pretty well with my milk supply but I just can’t keep up to the demand of the evening feeding frenzy, so then they start getting frustrated at the boob and start screaming, which makes putting together bottles of formula all the more complicated as nobody wants to be put down.  (Can you hold two babies and make a bottle at the same time?  Where is my third hand??)  Meanwhile, Ilan came home from work and we were trying to eat dinner, but we only got to scarf things in between feedings because the screaming was just so intense.

Finally, they calmed down.  But only because they were both lying on someone (me or Ilan).

Cute, right?

But this isn’t how we can spend the night.  Not to mention it is bath night and both babies stank.  And I thought, well, baths always soothe the savage beast.

So again, both babies had to be woken up to do that.  Luckily I could move Noa onto Ilan so he could keep her quiet while I took Eitan, thus able to keep both babies satisfied even after waking them from their sweet slumber.

But, uh, bath time was not fun.  We have had baths three times a week since the umbilical cords fell off and they have always been these wonderful soothing experiences.  I put the baby in the tub and immediately he/she is quiet and relaxed, and it’s this wonderful time, followed by me giving him/her an infant massage and moisturizing.  Then they are all snuggly and relaxed and ready for bed.

NOT SO THIS TIME!

Screaming through bath time, screaming through toweling off, screaming through infant massage, screaming through moisturizing.


Ahh!!

It wasn’t until I was in the middle of clothing Noa (second bather) that I realized I had left something out of bath time.  I usually sing while I give them a bath.  I sing “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” from Mary Poppins (I have no idea why this song, I just started singing it the first time I gave them a bath and now it is the bath time song).  So Noa is screaming and I am putting on her jammies.  And then I start quietly singing the bath time song and she immediately relaxes.

I finished putting on her jammies and then snuggle with her a minute while still singing, and she is just so relaxed.

I put her over my shoulder and she holds on to me.  The most relaxed and calm she has been all day.  Like actually calm, not calm like I am about to rev up again I just need a break kind of calm.

It was a sweet moment. :)

Then I swaddled her and she started screaming again.  But whatevs.  Take what you can get, right?  Time for me to nap until they wake up for the first night feeding.